Atul Subhash’s Heartbreaking Last Letter to His Son: A Father’s Despair Amidst Family Conflict
Atul Subhash’s tragic death by suicide on Monday left his family and friends in shock, but it was the 24-page suicide note he left behind that has sparked deep concern and raised critical questions about the emotional toll of personal and legal battles. Among the most heart-wrenching parts of his note was a letter directed to his four-year-old son, who has been living with his estranged wife, Nikita Singhania, since their separation in 2021.
In this final letter, Atul’s words revealed his deep anguish, frustration, and emotional distress caused by the ongoing family disputes, particularly his bitter separation from his wife and the legal battles surrounding financial support for his son. His note is a painful reflection of a father’s love mixed with feelings of betrayal, regret, and an overwhelming sense of being trapped in an unjust system.
A Father’s Painful Goodbye: “You Feel Like a Mistake”
Atul Subhash’s letter to his son, though filled with moments of deep love and yearning, was also tinged with sorrow and disillusionment. “Son, when I first saw you, I thought I could give my life for you any day. But, sadly, I am giving my life because of you,” Atul wrote, revealing his emotional turmoil. These words express a deep sense of betrayal and pain, with Atul citing how his son had become a symbol of the relentless financial and emotional pressure he was facing from his estranged wife and her family.
Atul’s letter continues with more painful admissions: “I don’t even remember your face now, except when I see pictures of you when you were one year old. I don’t feel anything about you now except a tinge of pain sometimes. Now, you just feel like blackmail, using which I will be extorted more and more,” he wrote. The letter points to the alleged financial exploitation by his wife’s family, who, according to Atul, were using his son as a tool to demand large sums of money.
Financial Pressure and Legal Struggles: A Father’s Heartache
One of the central issues raised in Atul’s note is the financial burden placed on him by his estranged wife, Nikita. Atul claimed that the court had ordered him to pay ₹80,000 in monthly maintenance to his wife and son, but Nikita allegedly demanded an increase to ₹2 lakh. Atul’s brother, Bikas Kumar, has also stated that Nikita demanded ₹30 lakh from Atul to allow him to meet his son, a demand that Atul found deeply upsetting.
Atul’s suicide note is filled with a sense of hopelessness and frustration with the legal system, which he believes is unfairly tilted against men. “It is just sad that this shameless system can make a child a burden and liability to his father,” Atul wrote. These words express his growing disillusionment with the family law system, which he felt was being misused to perpetuate financial exploitation.
Trapped by the System: A Father’s Final Plea
In his letter, Atul made it clear that he felt trapped by the legal and social systems around him. “Till I am alive and make money, they will use you as a tool to harass your grandparents, uncle, and me to extort more and more money from me,” he wrote, addressing his son. The note conveys the deep emotional toll that the prolonged legal battles had on Atul, as well as the distress caused by his inability to see his son, whom he had not been allowed to visit since the separation.
In one of the most heartbreaking lines, Atul wrote: “I can sacrifice 100 sons like you for my father. I can sacrifice 1,000 of me for you. But I will not be the reason for the harassment of my father.” These words express the extent to which Atul’s sense of responsibility toward his parents and family outweighed his desire to continue fighting for custody of his son.
Reflections on Fatherhood and Women’s Rights: A Disturbing Shift in Viewpoint
The letter also included statements reflecting Atul’s growing frustration with societal norms and the women’s empowerment movement. He wrote: “I used to think that women empowerment is probably good and benign, but it is not so. This movement has gone rogue.” These controversial statements reveal the emotional and psychological impact of Atul’s experiences, as he increasingly associated his personal hardships with broader social movements, which he felt were being misused for personal gain.
Atul’s comments reflect a deep sense of alienation and despair, likely exacerbated by his protracted divorce and custody battles. His evolving views on gender issues are a tragic reflection of how personal pain can sometimes distort one’s perceptions of broader societal issues.
The Emotional Toll of Legal and Family Battles
Atul’s suicide note and the events leading to his tragic death highlight the profound emotional toll that family disputes, particularly those involving custody and financial support, can have on individuals. Atul’s words to his son, filled with regret, pain, and disillusionment, underscore the damaging effects of prolonged legal conflicts, especially when children are used as pawns in these battles.
In his final message, Atul wrote to his son: “Remember, you don’t owe anything to anyone. Don’t trust society. Don’t trust the system. Both – society and system want to feed off of you.” These final words express his deeply disillusioned view of the world and society, offering a glimpse into the psychological burden he carried in his final moments.
A Call for Justice and Accountability
Atul’s death has sparked an investigation into the circumstances surrounding his suicide. His brother, Bikas Kumar, filed a complaint alleging that Atul’s estranged wife and her family were responsible for abetting his suicide through their harassment and financial demands. The Bengaluru police have registered a case of abetment to suicide based on this complaint.
Atul Subhash’s tragic end serves as a grim reminder of the emotional and psychological consequences that can arise from family disputes, particularly when financial exploitation and legal battles are involved. It also raises important questions about the need for better mental health support and legal safeguards to protect individuals from undue pressure in such situations.